Paan Singh Tomar
Let stories be told, I told missus sometime back. Stories of men and women, of their tenacity, struggle, misery and above all their triumph. Especially, heroes among common men and women in post-independence India. Stories in public knowledge are so shallow when it comes to number of such people that have been brought into public light, although all of us have had an opportunity to know a distant relative, an accomplice, a common friend who we may have idolize or atleast be envious in terms of grit and ability to swim against the tide of life’s tragedies.
This is perhaps the reason why I have chosen to write a post on my scantly updated blog on Paan Singh Tomar. This film was chosen despite the fact that I have seen “The Artist” and “Dirty Picture” prior to my visit to Fun Cinemas yesterday, and had not bothered write an ode to either. Despite the cinematic brilliance of “The Artist” and singularly exquisite piece of performance (note, not acting) on part of Sridevi incarnate - Vidya Balan in whose form a female superstar has thus reborn. Coming back to PST, it is neither the performance not the technical excellence that is forcing me to write my less than qualified post. There are three main reasons as to why one should watch this movie:
Firstly it is a bold subject. It’s a story that filmmakers avoid talking or making movies about. It is difficult in execution and it takes lot of research and very calculated imagination to fill the gaps. Stories of sportsmen who fell on bad times are aplenty but rather than talk about an Olympic medallist who died penniless (KD Jadhav), the filmmakers of PST chose to talk about a “rebel” who took up arms instead. This is not to say that justification of such an act is in order, but an action to reverse the flow of circumstances which seem to suck the life out of any middle aged, over the hill sportsman with no means is very much a natural phenomenon. Focus is thus less on his misery, but more on vectors that align and conspire together to force the transformation of an athlete into a dacoit.
Secondly the topography of the terrain. I simply love the fact the ravines of Chambal and thereabouts are still intact to tell a tale of their own. They remain true to their mysterious and violent past. It is vastly superior to Omkara (Western UP) and almost upstages Bandit Queen. Watch out of navigable rivulets and rickety boats taking men, women and children across.
Thirdly is the language. That dialect which cuts through urban hinglish that we use today like a knife through the butter. Earthiness of the words spoken, often by very talented actors like Irfan, Zakir Hussain, Mahi Gill and Bijendra Kala stands out in the movie.
Enough said, watch it before they snuff the picture out of theatres. Strain your ears though, dialect may be a little too caustic for some of us.

She never cried

My earliest memories of my maternal grandmother (beeji) were eating her vegetarian savories, her mild reprimand of my handwriting and her 40's style spectacles.

She was a typical immigrant from West Punjab, Kasur to be exact. They had lost everything in Partition and then after coming to Delhi, she lost more. Her husband died when she was in late thirties. Story goes that she started operating coal trading business from walled city premises in Delhi, turned around a sinking business and when her children started getting married, sold the business away. At slightly less than 5 feet, with small build that she had, I still cant visualize her working in a coal trading shop, let alone managing the entire business from manpower to trade deals to procurement. But my beeji was tough as steel, strong willed woman who seemed rooted in her belief that education is the only way for her children to get out of the rut that circumstances that forced them to be in.

Misery did not leave her after her children got married off and an estranged relationship with her son ensured that she was forced to live with her 3 daughters, in turns. It is ironic that a person of her caliber could not avoid financial dependence but then more astute people have been guilty of gaffe or two. This was her sole blemish as far as i can remember.

As a grandparent, she was awesome. She could teach me and my cousins all subjects till we were in 5th standard. She had studied till 8th (she was born in 1919) , but I can bet my life that she could have easily been a post graduate in these times. She kept a sharp eye on our studies - her constant reprimand was - "saare majboona (subjects) wich number change laine ne" which was in response my asymmetrical report card which always showed variance away from languages.

Born into a progressive khatri family, she was more of spiritual person than a religious one. I did not see her spending time in front idols, instead she would wake up at 4 and meditate silently. Though she did not articulate it, she to my knowledge was a firm believer of faith being a private matter. Till the day, I find her to more progressive than the next generation or for that matter one after that.

Her last few years were very miserable, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Slow but steady decline into dementia followed. It was very ironic to see her lose control, especially since I had always seen her composed and firmly in command as far as her life was concerned. She used to tease me that I had got cavity in my molar at the age of 21 while she had full set of 32 at 80.

In 2007, she quietly passed away in my mother's arms.

I was not around, and I wept like a baby on her "chautha". I do miss her much, but I do not cry whenever I think about her. Just as she never cried when faced with adversity in her life.

Movie Review - Shaitan

If you love cinema of Tarantino, Guy Ritchie and always wanted to see how counter culture in an Indian city looks like, this movie will not disappoint.

Lot of people will try to compare it with Dev D - another favorite of mine. Similarities are palpable, though soul of the cities (Delhi and Bombay) make a crucial difference. Twenty and Thirty year olds have been guzzling western cinema to watch mind bending, counterculture and any thing which falls under an overarching dysfunctional genre. Here comes our savior, setting is desi, relevant and most of all very realistic.

Kalki is as usual is surreal, while other female in the pack Sheetal Menon does not do bad job. But the most badass of the characters is played by Shiv Pandit - waiter, crack dealer, the only urchin amongst the upper class brats. Getting Rajat Barmecha to play a teen coke dealer in making is also superb. Highest point of the movie comes in second half with Tarantino like gunfight with

remix of Khoya Khoya Chand playing in the background.

Dont watch the movie if you dont like gore, blood and dark characters. For the rest of us, this movie is a godsent present. Hope Bejoy Nambiar (Director) give us more such gems in future.

Amen to that.

Sitting on the left corner of the Auto I noticed...

A biker, caressing his hands on the chrome and taking a good look at the journey ahead. And I wondered if I would ever follow my dreams.

A retired man, sitting on his balcony with a dozen newspapers around him to read. And I wondered if he has enough money or I would ever have enough time.

School children crossing the road in their dark brown school uniforms, eager to take on whatever comes today. And I wondered if they will play during their games period and whether school has a library or not.

Construction for a multi-storeyed building going on at full swing with eastern immigrants getting into their act. And I wondered if they will make my home one day as well.

We were waiting for an unusually long time at a red light. And I wondered if i have waited longer than required for things that do not matter.

Driver's photo identity card which pictured him in his best clothes. And I wondered if lanes in his locality are as wide and as clean as this road.

Sitting on the left corner of the Auto, I wondered if I would notice so much if she was besides me.

Why do i go to Minar everytime I am in NYC

To disprove 2 misconceptions-

1 - An Unamericanized Indian Restaurant has no appeal for Americans. These guys persist with spicy indian food and goras turn up in decent numbers.

2 - Intersect between good indian food and quick serve restaurants (QSRs) is zero. Wrong again, try any thing on the menu, chances are that it is nearly half as decent as best fare in your city back in india.

PS Ofcourse there are sentiments involved here and sub 10 USD lunch is always welcome :)

Double standards

Continuing with drinking sessions, it was unanimously agreed that there was no honour in the attitude that our parents showed towards TV wathcing.

They restricted us from watching TV in late 80s when some of the best fare was being dished and these days they spend hours on shitty things called daily soaps.

Not fair i say!

Over a peg of scotch

Friends debated who has been worst "star" son in history - Obamasque consensus was Sanjay Kapoor.

Irony is that he played a star son turned director in a recent movie - Luck by chance. And even more irony followed - he wasnt too bad either with his hat and all :)

My XI

A week back i wrote to Fareed Zakaria, host of CNN's show GPS airs every Sunday 1 PM EST regarding some of the questions i would like him to ask his guest last Sunday - Pervez Musharraf. To his credit, Fareed did not ask Ex Prez a single question from this list.

Disclaimer: Ofcourse most of these are India focussed, what do you expect from an Indian.

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Dear Fareed Zakaria,

Please find below questions that I would like you to ask Pervez Musharraf when he appears on your show next Sunday.

Kargil
· Mr Musharraf, what were the Pakistani military's strategic objectives of Kargil incursion in '99?
· Are these strategic objectives still part of Pakistani military doctrine?
· You and Pak admin have always vehemently denied that Pakistani military was not involved in Kargil, however your admin went ahead and awarded Nishan-i-Haider to 2 regulars for Kargil "conflict" - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karnal_Sher_Khan_Shaheed and http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lalak_Jan_Shaheed.
· What circumstances forced end of hostilities in this military campaign and what was US role in the same?

Taliban
· Shehryar Mazari - prominent journalist in his editorial in DAWN directly holds you responsible for TALIBANIZATION of Pakistan, what is your response to that? Here is the link to this editorial - http://www.dawn.com/wps/wcm/connect/dawn-content-library/dawn/the-newspaper/editorial/talibanisation-musharraf-659
· Are there any elements in Pak Army or in ISI that do not support war on Taliban and what are their views on Kashmiri militant groups once Americans leave AfPak?

Future of Pakistan/General
· Does he believe that Pak will break into 3 largely independent countries - Punjab, Largely lawless pashtunistan in north and Sinshudesh in south? If not what is the ethos of being a Pakistani
· Kiyani was your handpicked candidate, would you have given him go ahead to take Taliban out
· Where were billions of dollars in US aid diverted to during Clinton/George Sr Bush days before sanctions due to Nuke tests?
· Where in Pakistan were Mumbai attacks planned? Indian dossier contained citation regarding transcripts of Punjabi speaking army regulars shouting tactics over satellite phones, thereby implicating Pak Army of planning and executing these terror attacks. What is your response to that?

Kashmir
· What is the future of Kashmiri seperatism, now with prominent seperatists like Sajjad Lone joining political mainstream in Jammu and Kashmir?

It will be great if you could pose these questions to Mr Pervez Musharraf. Answers to some of these questions is critical to understanding why Pak is in its current position and who else is better to answer that than someone who ruled and unarguably brought this instability to south asian region.

Amit Kumar
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Ek akela is shahar mein..

Some of the side effects of living alone away, in a hotel for something like 7 months out of last 9-10 months-

• Addicted to watching CNN, becoming a die hard Fareed Zakaria basher
• Eating tonnes of snacks, drinking kilolitres of diet pepsi - becoming Shop n Stop's loyal customer
• Sifting through deals2buy, dealnews, dealsofamerica etc etc and end up buying useless stuff
• Hurling expletives when alone in room at people from office
• Making sure than sofa springs are subject to intense cycle fatigue from butts
• Overusing skype
• Trying to find that perfect song on Youtube that will act as lullaby tonight and everynight
• Taking clean bed, toilet, bath for granted
• Actually started liking some of the microwavable food
• Almost losing the concept of acting like a host to friends
• Searching for 16 quarters every sunday night for laundry and drying clothes
• Ironing linen shirts early monday morning

Sigh! It better be worth something in the end...

2009 Elections: 10 NDTV Bloopers /Funny moments

1. Prannoy Roy apologizing profusely to Kapil Sibal for leaving him high and dry and going for an ad towards the end of the counting. Sibal didnt even acknowledge his apology.
2. Chandan Mitra's exciting "This is significant" whenever someone told him that BJP is leading in WB seat even though it was quite clear that they will be falling much short of INC number
3. Manu Singhvi tearing Abhigyan Prakash for making him wait for 25 minutes during NDTV India's election coverage.
4. Robert Vadra looking out of place while his wife and bro in law meets press for the first time after UP results come in.
5. Dayanidhi Maran struggling to focus his excitement - Murasoli's exit poll accuracy or his uncle's houdini act in TN
6. Vikram Chandra moving INLD (Ajit Singh) back and forth between NDA, UPA, Third Front, Fourth Front on a giant touch screen.
7. Digvijay Singh recalling an incident when Rahul Gandhi stumped him by telling him a little trivia - Ajit Singh won on congress ticket in one of the elections. I bet even Ajit Singh doesnt remember that.
8. Derek o Brien rhetorically quizzing Srinivasan Jain on which non Congress party has won more seats in UPA. This was in response to Srinivasan's question on whether TC would ask for lofty miniterial berths (railways for Didi :) ) in UPA
9. NDTV team taking Praful Patel's statement in spirit - Everyone was talking to everyone else at the same time!
10. NDTV's take on Cong Left relationship with Emosanal Atyachar playing in the background.

Great Game

Lets try to get this straight, Pakistan needs military aid from US to fight insurgency in its own backyard. All this while it (if Obama is to be believed) fears for its existence from India. All these years Pakistan received aid from US and except for Soviet rule in Afghanistan, this aid must have gone to prop up Pakistan to make sure it doesnt fall to - its mortal enemy India. With 1 million strong strike corps breathing on its eastern border and some 3000 combat and non combat aircrat to contend with, Pakistan did a pretty good job of sustaining itself during years when FATA terrorists were not the "villians". Therefore there are only two scenarios under which this request for aid is reasonable - Taliban have thousands of special forces who can engage Pak army decisively or billion of dollars were robbed from US tax payers. Sneaking suspicion - it is latter :) Btw this also coincides with higher tax rate regime of Bill "Cigar" Clinton. So when honest, hardworking Americans were sweating it out in auto towns like Lansing, MI - Pak military was being modernized. But what the heck, we just heard from US, that Pak military is as ancient as Mayan infantry. So where were these funds going to, ahem - must to be worthy cause of exporting insurgency to India.

So lets recap - US wants to help Pak fight insurgency in its own country that is a by product of its own terror export factory that was covertly being funded by US. Whoa!

For updates on "war" - www.longwarjournal.org (Bill R has done a pretty decent job of doing what CNN and other looneys have forgotten - War journalism)

Sindhudesh

Came across an interesting website here. Interestingly, this also reinforces 3 major faultlines in "Greater India" that existed prior to Independence - Punjab (Hindus/Sikhs V Muslims), Bengal (Hindus V Muslims) and Kashmir (confused to say the least). On the other hand 2 major ethnic groups got screwed as a result of collective tomfoolery on part of Indians, Pakis and Brits - Pushtuns (across Pak and Afghanistan) and Sindhis. Funnily, Hindu sindhis today are perhaps equivalent of perennial refugees in India. With all the upheaval in north of Sindh that is happening today, there is a hope for independent and moderate islamic country of Sindhudesh, at peace with India.

Little Iron Shoes

After 30 years of liberalization, China is still pretty much a commie state. Evidence - its state run channel goes by the name - CCTV :)

Kerryless

Ok, what do you do when lose US presidential elections to perhaps the worst man after Franklin Pierce to lead the country. You are also chided for making a muck of yourself by crying hoarse about outsourcing in the run up to elections.

Any sensible politician would have curled up his ambitions and retired to a Maine cottage and accept speaker engagements with far left evil called Daily Kos.

No but Mr Kerry became a stooge in Senate's foreign relations committee. Furthermore he joins other jokers in undoing perhaps the only sensible strategic makeover that Bush administration worked on - US India relations. You also come up with worst oxymoron of the century - Good Taliban. And then this.

Klick Klack

India: We sent the dossier to Pak
Pak: We sent it back, need to link 26/11 with Samjhauta blasts
India: Ball is their court (ofcourse since our PM has lost his during his operation last month), we need link Samjhauta with Mumbai blasts
Pak: Link Mumbai blasts with Gujrat
India: Link Gujrat with Godhra
Pak: Link Godhra with Babri Masjid
India: Link Babri Masjid with ISI activities /Seperatist sub culture that you have been harbouring
Pak: Link that with Muslim persecution in India
India: Link that with 500 year persecution of Hindus
Pak: Link that with your stubborn refusal to get converted
India: Link that with your religion's lack of appeal in West from Ottoman to Obama
Pak: Its a PR problem, the whole world is out to get us. It makes sense for us to get taken over by Taliban. Zardari can take couple of concubines and settle in East Ham.

Fareed Zakaria is a Schmuck!

Couple of newsbytes over weekend:

One - Fareed A-hole Zakaria asking mohamed el baradei about his tactics related to handling pariahs like India, Israel and Pakistan. Wise El Beradei smiled - " I dont know how one can treat a democratic country with 1/6th population with no proliferation history as a pariah"

Two - Mista A-hole chairing a meet on global recession in Davos which includes gents premier from mexico, South Korea and Chump Gordon Brown (his surname is testimony to the fact that reverse colonization is complete in UK). During this discussion, Fareed brands mexicans and other lat ams as experts in diffusing banking crisis. This after Mexican gent noted that Lat Am as a region had 30 such crisis in last 25 years. This is akin to awarding top award to India in countering terrorism.

Mr Zakaria, you need to formally join army of other ill informed, opinionated & psuedo centrist journos in SEE ENN ENN and get more cozy with another A-hole in your network -Lou Dobbs.

Sone ki chidiya

So why am i upset at watching promos of a movie that could be perhaps first India centric movie in 30 years (Gandhi was last in 80) to win all that matters in entertainment industy, starring perhaps the only macho leading man (Anil K) since Big B (amidst all the pretenders) and has gazillion awards winning score from perhaps the only indian composer who can write original music (since ahem Rabindranath Tagore)?

For the same reason any decent person would not approve of slum tourism. Danny Boyle, what about visiting Paki ghettos in your own little island country where dry humour of present day dwellers is not enough to erase thievery called imperialism? Be absolutely clear what you show to this world - some of those public alleys in London are not any safer than taking last local from churchgate or late night blue line bus in Jehangirpuri. We ll be watching closely.

Focus Group

Its really unfortunate that US had to choose between two historic firsts - African American President and a woman VeePee.

Sarah Palin swept republican convention but it was a long slide ever since then, media blackout didnt help either. But she did create flutter or two, case in point her admission of being a "Hockey Mom".

That really got moms and wannabe moms to react. One such group was Indian (as in those brown skinned people who got their names from Indus) American Moms. Now they would identify themselves with likes of Sarah. Almost every mom in India is a hockey mom, thats what they use to beat their kids, some ofcourse are cricket bat moms - this number is rising though in recent years, then there is license-to-slap moms who would choose most public of the places to imprint lasting memory in her son's/daughter's mind. There are also chappal moms who are kind enough to select flattest of soles so that her child is not permanently impaired.

Errata

Song below is Rabbi's Bilqis. I watched him perform this live (in a Bangalore music store) when he was promoting his album. I think this is one of the most topical songs ever written, without any metaphoric blankets that other artistes chose to wear. Ofcourse i am leaving out commercial/gen xyz wallet share mongrels out of the equation here.

Jinhe naaz hain hind par woh kaha hain..

Mera naam Bilqis Yakub Rasool
Mujhse hui bas ek hi bhool
Ki jab dhhundhhte thhe vo Ram ko
To maen khadi thhi, rah mein

Pehle ek ne puchha na mujhe kuchh pata thha
Dujey ko bhi mera yehi javab thha
Fir itno ne puchha ki mera ab saval hai ki

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the
Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

Mera naam Shriman Satyendra Dubey
Jo kehna thha vo keh chukey
Ab padhey hain rah mein
Dil mein liye ek goli

Bas itna kasoor ki hamne likha thaa
Vo sach jo har kisi ki zuban thaa
Par sach yahan ho jatey hain zehreelay

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the
Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

Mujhe kehte hain anna Manjunath
Maine dekhi bhatakti ek laash
Zamir ki beech sarhak Lakhimpur Kherhi

Adarsh phasa jahan naaron mein
Aur chor bharey darbaron mein
Vahan maut akhlaq ki hai ik khabar baasi

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the
Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

Mazha nau aahe Navleen Kumar
Unnees june unnees bar
Unnees unnees unnees unnees
Unnees baar

Unnees unnees unnees unnees
Unnees unnees unnees unnees
Unnees unnees unnees unnees
Unnees baar

Looto dehaat kholo bazaar
Nallasopara aur Virar
Chheeno zameen hamse humhe
Bhejo pataal

Jinhe naaz hai hind par vo kahan the
Jinhe naaz hai vo kahan hain

Lalu for PM

US presedential elections are popularity contests - no this is not an H1B alien sermonizing, I hear it everywhere in this city which by the way is shamelessly democrat to the core. You can hear thi over office coffee machine chats, lunch table talk and even 2 minute break between or before another stupid call. Fox and MSNBC have their own army of partisan shows -one of them Rachel Maddow has a look that could fittingly describe Neena Gupta's angst at never been able to match Smita Patil or for that matter even Shabana Azmi's standards. And she is mad at everything conservative.

With these media dogs (and bitches) barking 24 hours, this election tends to be boring and unidimensional - who needs a truth squads when you have tabloids free on the train platform!

Nevertheless, US being the "oldest" democracy (history before 1776 is a debated topic here in this part of the world) has its nuances that can surprise even a hardore political observer in me.

Case in point is Alfred E Smith Memorial dinner - a tradition which makes both contenders to come on stage and deliver a stand up comedy act with thier object of affection being - themselves!

I caught glimpses of this year's hilarious act - McCain with his Joe the plumber jokes and Obama with this cross dressing Rudy G jokes. Everything said and done - this does make this democracy "great" atleast in relative terms when compared to whats happening around. Only India comes a close second, albeit i am not sure if there is any humour left in our plitical circles at all. There is one beacon of hope - our Railways minister. How i wish we could have television debates - say between Lalu and Advani.  

Tendlya!

(Excerpt from Cricinfo)

Tendulkar made his debut in Pakistan. Of his team-mates then, one has become an insufferable television commentator, and two others have become good ones; one was convicted of murder and sent to jail, another banned for life for match-fixing. One eliminated the line between whistle-blower and perpetrator, one ran a banned series of matches, another was chairman of selectors. One has dropped out of the public eye and another has turned television actor. But Tendulkar bats on. Longevity is intrinsic to greatness.

Maan gaye Mughal E Aazam

Easily one of the worst movies that I saw (Oops, Goonda (Prabhuji), Anth (Suniel Shetty dubbed by someone else are other gems in my list).

So why did cast comprising of Kay Kay, Rahul Bose and Paresh Rawal fail?

Consipiracy theory 1 - Rahul Bose sabotaged the movie since he did not want "filmmakers" to believe that he and Mallika Sherawat are a great pair after that freak "Pyar ke side effects".

Consipiracy theory 2 - Kay Kay torpedoed this movie since he wanted Celina J as hottie instead of Mallika (remember bomb called "Silsile"

Consipiracy theory 3- Mallika believed she and Rahul were a great pair and worked hard at it.

Poo Poo

So what are the choices in front of us to avoid total disruption in our industries, cities, households due to energy crisis?

• Nuke deal - will take 10 years for 1000 MW reactors to build
• KG Basin - Not sure if critical mass exists
• Iran-Pakistan NG Pipeline - Pipeline dream

So we ll have to think slightly out of the box or use the box instead!

What about biogas, with so many people and fauna around us, i am sure this merits a case. What we need is to toilet train all the stray cattle, mongrels (bangalore will be top contributor) and people living near railway lines!

Murder she wrote

Bangalore police and MSM are gloating over India' first female serial killer.

But I would suggest them to give it a thought before they bestow this crown.

Certain Ms Kapoor did lot of damage in early part of this century. One of her famous massacres still sends shivers down the spine.

Same2Same

I noticed him for the first time while we were together boarded a dimly lit bus from suburban Tokyo to Narita airport. I had not slept for last 24 hours, largely due to anticipation of going back to India after 8 months. I was looking forward to getting some sleep in plush seats of Keisei line loco and came armed with my new ipod as well. But something about this person made me feel as if i had travelled all 5000 miles in few seconds. Whether it was his 80's suitcase (with S.M written on the handle) or his golden brass buttons on blue blazer, something told me he was much closer to home than anything on that bus. His cap too reminded me of endless middle aged gentlemen in Delhi who would venture out in biting north indian winter for their chartered buses enroute to performing daily chores as North Block clerks/section officers. Matter was finally clinched when conductor engaged him in a small talk - bingo! he had a jhangi/multani accent. I would now call him Mr Makhija (from S.M on his suitcase) from Geeta Colony.

Rest of the bus journey was pretty boring, i kept my ipod on shuffle mode since i was too tired to make any efforts in choosing the songs. Makhija too started snoring much to chagrin of a young looking japanese woman sitting directly behind him. Bus veered past concrete jungle that Tokyo is into green landscape of Narita and surroundings and landed us directly in front of Thai airways gate.

We took our bags and started walking towards yet to be opened economy class counters. As we waited for Thai airways employees to complete their little christmas celebration, Makhija appeared quite interested in starting the conversation. "Going to India?" he asked. "Yeah, and you?" "Bangkok jaa raha hoon" replied Makhija. His bald head shining in lustre from numerous christmas trees that adorned the concourse in that terminal.

We parted soon after he uttered his destination, booking counters were now open and we were soon ushered into security check.

I glanced at him while i waited for my turn, he was standing in "Foreign Passports" queue. Fortunately my work permit status ensured speedy immigration check and soon i was on my way to departure gate.

I had arrived full 3 hours before departure so some airport shopping was always on cards. However 20 odd kimonos, 5 liquour and endless souveneir shops later I was bored and tried to head back to departure gate.

There were 50 odd people already waiting near the gate. It was a usual sight that one comes across on any international flight. Excited first timers, sensible business travellers, hassled mothers of infants, even more hassled mothers of young children who are busy saving their kids from next catastrophe. Makhija looked at ease as well, perhaps this was not his first voyage to Bangkok in recent times. I was sitting few seats away from him, trying to kill minutes before boarding. He was watching TV on his japanese mobile phone - some NHK program, sight didnt amaze me. If you spend few months in Tokyo and commute on metro, you will come across many men and women flexing their eye muscles on mobile TV. Suddenly his phone rang, it was irritating ringtone, one that is associated with old MTNL landline phones. His neighbours were startled to say the least. Then something went wrong, somewhere between his TV app and his call - his phone tanked. Ringing didnt stop and neither did his TV. For a moment Makhija appeared lost. When his countless attempts to revive his phone failed, he went for the jugular.
Took out the battery and heaved a sigh of relief. Somewhere I felt relieved too. Was I embarassed as well?

Makhija turned on his phone and called the moron whose call destroyed decorum of our lounge.
It was a plainspeak - "Behanchod is time pe call kyun kari? .. Accha theek hain, Main dekh lunga, Abhi phone rakh" No Bon Voyage No Good Days. Sometimes I think we are the worst people when it comes to phone conversations, atleast Makhija was no exception to my belief.

Couple of announcements later, boarding started. Ritual of boarding includes standing at the end of a long queue with your passport and boarding ticket firmly tucked in your shirt pocket. Makhija was 4-5 spots ahead of me. Soon he reached the boarding counter and passed on his boarding pass to the Thai airways employee.

And then i saw his passport with "Islamic Republic of Pakistan" embossed on the green cover while he waited for the lady to complete her drill.

Sadiq Mansoor was going to Bangkok and so was I, atleast enroute to my final destination.

Last Six Months have been spent in

Boarding DLR to Bank
Learning 10 words in Nihongo
Tube journeys from Heathrow to central London
Tube journeys during strike
Trying out Yakitori food in London
Evading Yakitori in Tokyo
Sunday window shopping in Greenwich village market
Guzzling Newcastle Ale
Fitting suitcase in a small Tokyo hotel room
Finding my way from Roppongi to Otemachi
Walking the streets of Kyoto - Especially Gion corner
River rafting
Roller coasting at Tokyo Dome
90 minute treks at Takao
Poising next to Nizomi - Bullet Train
Shedding inhibitions in Onsen at Nikko
Finding bargains in back alleys of Akihabara
Late night coffee sessions at AM PM store
Boarding last train on Fridays to Shinjuku/Roppongi/Shibuya
Boarding first train on Sat from Shinjuku/Roppongi/Shibuya

Shame

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/3774899.stm

Aag ka gola

I am watching Harrison Ford- Anne Heche starrer 6 days 7 nights on a listless Sunday evening and among other things that really caught my eye was one particular scene where our Hans Solo is trying to take off using a vintage plane. Ofcourse to add spice to this situation, screenplay is being shared by Samoan-looking pirates trying to gun him down. Now we are talking about pre Jack Sparrow era where pirates were not being in not same league that of skywalkers.

But apart from humiliating these wretched seafarers by portraying them as dimwits, this movie has actually insulted proud generations of artillery engineers. This unpardonable goof happens when pirates are shown trying to aim at Ford's plane and the release of the shell occurs when the gun is at right angle to the pirate ship - shell is lobbed overhead. Needless to say, it misses its aim and comes back to wreck havoc on poor souls. Why on earth would a gun with no guidance system be designed to avert a foolish scenario. Inexplicable to say the least.

Tick Tocking Pollies

Politics is never a favorite subject with my peer group. Most of the people either belong to This-doesnt-affect-me-Hence-I-dont-follow or I-am-not-interested camps.

Well for others there is something to cheer about - proliferation of political blogs.

One of the better reads is http://offstumped.nationalinterest.in/.

PS Even Yossarin (author of this blog) got UP elections wrong :)

Just a thought

Why do we use the term "Answering the questions" when it comes to exams back in India while most of the first world uses the term "Solving the problem"?

Classical Music(k)

Wonder why those gullible folks in Egypt, Iran, Iraq and other middle east countries feast on Indian film music?
Check this wonderful effort from a good and very smart samaritan, Karthik S - http://www.itwofs.com/

Now i know why these guys are called Music Directors and not Composers.

Please inform your friends in Oceania (especially among Maori community), Nordic music circles and Chad's Rock fraternity about this, you might be able to save their originality before someone ships their CD to a certain address in Chennai.

U Turn

Have just changed the name of the blog, will try to shift focus away from self. It will be a gradual process though. Hope to survive the same

300 and score is settled

As usual Saturdays go, yesterday too was spent thinking hard about whether or not to have tea in the morning without customary biscuits. High point on any saturday is reached when thumb goes comfortably numb from flipping channels and you suddenly remember that personal hygiene has been neglected all the week. As I watched some more hair go down the drain, I decided it is time for me to soak up some sun, use BMTC' bus services and satisfy my psuedo reading apetite by buying a second hand book from MG Road.
I was sure that it would make a great addition to a dozen other books i havent read for last 2 years. Met up with a friend who trampled on my juvenile habit of not saying no when it matters the most and we decided to watch 300 at Rex.
Oddly enough, images that this numbers conjures in blue billion mindset are those of Indian batters screwing hapless bowlers from other countries on a belter of a pitch in locations like Kochi, Vizhag and newest addition in Puttaparthy. Thats where 90% of centuries for Tendulkar, Sehwag, Ganguly and Dravid come from. Groundsmen often come from road construction business. But thats another thing altogether.
Coming back to 300, we got the tickets, although i secretly hoped that the guy on the counter turns out to be a ex anti hindi activist, argument could lead to scuffle and finally to us getting thrown out of the theatre premises. As is the case, nothing of that sort happened and we headed for a mug of beer to kill time before show was supposed to start.
As I was sipping my share of Kingfisher (thats the only brew that you get in the Beer capital of this country), one question kept coming back to me - why on earth (and vulcan planets) was I shortlisted to be invited to this movie.

May be it was because of my unkempt demeanour and lineage (jatlands of Delhi). For the record I used to play french cricket with tennis ball at a ground that was close to vikas puri govt school where Sehwag used to abuse bowlers and Umpires alike before socking them up in case he got out for less than 50 .These experiences have shaped up my anti Non Violence posture till Rang De Basanti came last yeat and has further reinforced my beliefs.
So we finished our Beers (okie couple of Mugs) along with complimentary popcorn and headed to watch film that had originally cast Sunny Deol who wanted to go alone instead. However since the book was titled 300 and not "Iklauta" (The Only One), he had to back down. Although there were efforts to pursuade him, his insistence on having Late Amrish Puri as Xerxes and Bobby and Abhay Deol as Indian princes who make a guest appearance in an item number finally did him in.
Well honestly I did not watch most of the scenes, we were sitting in the second row, the guy in front of me was very tall - around 5 feet 8 inches and he managed an upright position (of his back) for 2 hours. Thankfully we parted our ways soon after the movie - I did not want to get into a review discussion.

Yet I think it is a great movie if you are:

1. A Student of a girls only school and your treasure trove of beefcake pics has just been confiscated by your mom
2. Critical of Persian military advances in 300 BC
3. or Into body piercing
   

For others I recommend safe ride home in an auto.

DeckHeads all

Whenever i get a chance to meet some of my peers working in other companies/industries, coversation is usually two dimensional - gossip about job switching in group and bitching about the fact that we are all Powerpoint coollies.

Its the latter that fascinates me. On an average day, i make/collaborate with others in my company to make presentation - mostly for internal use. Often these presentations are laden with figures, tables, images and almost prosaic text.

It is funny but the sheer size of information on the presentation is OBSCENE.

This is certainly contrary to what we were taught (sometimes on the job) about using much abused powerpoint presentations. I am sure most of the junta in the Pre Sales/Marketing/Product Management fields would agree with me. So why this blatant departure from obvious best practice. Answer lies in the use - for internal and extraneous (as in for others) purpose.
In plain words, someone ELSE is going to use them and it is going to be asset for the firm for the time immemorial.

So in a sense, what they actually need is a document (detailed to the last hilt). However a document is more difficult to review (frequent check ins and NY traffic) and is therefore less suited to a US/Client facing lifestyle.

Result - a confused sales support guy who unlearns all the virtues of using a powerful tool :)

Colonial Past

Its been 6 weeks since i have tasted salty fried doughnuts (read Vada) or a Rice/Carb tablet(read Idli) but strangely it is not food that i am missing here in NY. Infact its not even cricket, our consistent non performance in One days came handy.

So apparently it is a sport that India doesnt even excel in (read my sarci post below).

EPL is what is making feel so misty about other almost forgettable saturday evenings. Oh i miss watching those matches that come so close to basketball quarters/attack at all costs games :(

Go Ogle!

Yippee Google Videos are here in India!
Searched for Star Trek Voyager and saw sexy high res snippet of one of the best episodes - Endgame Part 2. Bad news for my to do list

check out video.google.com

Phoosball

Argentina could not win World cup again, i have been watching this crazy game since Italia 90 and they have disappointed an ardent fan in me time and again. But i am sure they ll be back, Messi will only grow stronger and cleverer, Requelme will be 30 and Tevez, well only uglier and craftier in South Africa.

Brings me to indian football scene these days, apparently we have a new coach who says that we need taller players (duh), and he is sure that he ll find 4-5 of such folks in North India. It has all come down to this! We are easily 130th on a list where apparently war torn ex yugoslav republics are hitting top 20s easily.

So story goes that Indian National team was in Canada where they were playing against world class teams in Vancouver White Caps and Cardiff city. We ended up third there. Competetion was certainly tough, apparently Vanc WC were so desperate that they enlisted highly professional local street footballers to stop Indian juggernaut of five feet gaints. I must also add here that third side Cardiff has long tradition in English football, albiet they have failed to make presence in EPL for decades now.

Nevertheless there are going to be celeberations in Kolkata when Indian team comes back and hectic football season starts (yet) again. Man there is no other place when micro achievement is met with such enthusiasm. I still remember when Sao Palo club had come over to India with 4th or 5th string team and were beating India 4-0 at every centre matches were held. And suddenly in a game someone scored (certain malnutrioned Bikash Panji i think, used to be India captain) with a seeminly impossible volley from 25 yards. My TV (middle class Texla model) started jumping up and down due to deafening noise in the stadium.

Then came '92 and Star TV. I chose less pompous crowds of EPL and Serie A instead.

Sharp

Have you ever curled yourself
Around a razor blade because
The cold bite and sharpened
Tang were all you could feel
And it was better than
Feeling nothing?

ps : taken from here

I miss

Janeway steering Voyager after a close escape frm certain death, Neelix' delta quadrant culinary skills, Kes and her unexplained disappearance, Seska's betrayal, Chakotay and his tattoo, Torres and Paris, Paris and Kim, Tuvok's rationality, Janeway's irrationality, Species 8472 and Borgs, Resistance is futile, Delta flyer, Time travel, Q and Q continuum, Seven of Nine and her memory flashes about Raven, Doctor and his idiosyncracies about being human and most of their journey back home.

Delhi Rape

added to lexicon here

I think I can give a try to Delhi Bus Ride

'' Travel in a Delhi bus that is often served hot with expletives 'Saale Maa ke !@#$ aage kyun nahin hota hain', 'Is Ch!@#$ ko yahin utaar do', 'Behan!@#$ ticket le, Tera staff nahin chalega' and often results in either getting down with high probability that you will hurt yourself"

Ofcourse this is nothing as compared to being "felt" by organic tresspassers.

Core Competencies

Attending Press Conferences by Rahul Dravid - Guy needs a break, I think he was better off when he was keeping wickets and donning Vice Captaincy hat during Ganguly era.

Burning "Heart Shaped" effigies by Shiv Sena - Awesome work, doesnt hurt anyone and is good fun too, they need to concentrate on this rather than burning down poor florists' shops in Mumbai.

BP Singhal on News Channels - He can use the frown on his forehead in a RGV horror movie, Daraana Zaroori hain

Afridi's sweet somethings while fielding in Point region - Could channelise his competency in Vernacular abuses to educate first year zoology students on female anatomy and in some case wierd male anatomy as well

Outlook - Microsoft or otherwise!
Just changed jobs, well job is not the word, I think organization or rather organization from whose account i draw my wages is a better one. I now am part of Sails and Mark-Keating (Oh those S&D classes and understandably challenged people) in an IT firm. So what has changed for me:

Am I working more, well if work is a function of number of keystrokes in a day, answer is yes. Also now I can relate my lack of sense of humour to utter lack of work in last few months, not that i have improved in last 2 weeks but i am getting there

Is it thought provoking? Yes, in a way but it also reminds me of how almost everything that an MBA does is quite similar to basic tenets of world's oldest profession, in terms of being customer focussed - not mixing personal with professional life which in other words means having none of former till you retire/burn out and die/take liberal arts.

Every morning I send this to atleast 4 morons hoping Read Receipt did not fool me the night before.

"Hi JackAss

I just saw your mail today, so did this call happen yesterday?

-Bumpkin
"

Foot in my Mouth

If there was one aspect about myself that has been a bugbear it has to be my lack of listening skills. For years I have been interjecting conversations with my verbal pricks and most folks have found it very bugging. Some of them have told me so and I am thankful to them.

However there has been one such person who stands out in this regard, she not only has been patiently admonishing me about but has often tried to diagnose it as well. Her latest theory has been quite revealing. She claims that I must have been one of those over zealous students who would rush into answering any question that a teacher would asked when I was in school/college. Hmm prettty plausible I must say, not that I had a high accuracy in answering those questions I remember being such a jack in the box students not too long ago.

Alas embarassment I faced during school has only seen considerable addition in recent years.

Enough of problem definition, would you please offer some solutions as well? :)

Eagles Farewell Tour 2005

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide
Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry...love will keep us alive

PS Makes me feel like a romantic fool again
PPS For people who are in US this might be your last chance

Death Wish

The Creature crept slowly into the room
and waved at Bird
She waved back almost in unision
''Is he around" Creature asked
"He is sleeping in attic..
..Been sleeping for years now" replied Bird

They could play their games at will
Bird and Creature's cheap thrill

But they wonder what I ll be thinking
Coz they know I am in a deep slumber
Though I lay awake in my stupor
watching them play

Then in a flash I lit up the house
What have you done? asked Bird
It was her idea said the Creature

And as I saw our skins burn
I bid my final goodbye to both of them
See you in hell

OKTOBERFEST!!!!

You sure you dont want that scotch?

No it aint abouth drinking, this is about a species that seems to be inspired by ducks. No they are no fat bottomed easy targets as many people would believe them to be, in fact they are exact opposite they take you by surprise. Behind their sweet naive looks that entice onlookers to feed them from poolside is frantic paddling underneath that keeps them afloat. They are menacing if you just look under the surface. And whats more , they can fly too at their own sweet will.

Keep a watch always.

Heard somewhere..

Conserve Water, Drink Beer

- Cactus, Downtown Chi

Are these guys stinking criminals?

- Gas trader, NG up 100 basis points

What type? Oh She is a female dog

- JoAnne on BA 295

Chicago Beer, You should try this!

-Pig Tail

This doesnt smell like a men's room untill I came here!!

- Guy in Bucktown

You should never go to Puma Store across the street.

- Drifter

How you are so mature?

- Sadhu

Its a trick question

- Me

That chick was hot on me

- Drifter

She was depressed

- Sadhu

You think 6 million people live in Chi for its weather?

- Sadhu

Pigs in blanket with honey mustard dressing

- Read the menu

What the hell?

- Me after Miiller-Guiness-Hienekin-Guiness-Alpha King-Kolrsch-Guiness

This is good food for someone who has a taste for this

- World Chess Champion

I am not normally like this, I swear

- Low Probability

Chopsuey

Trust in my self-righteous suicide
I cry when angels deserve to die
In my self-righteous suicide
Why cry when angels deserve to die?

Friend..

Pal, go grab the opportunities that lie ahead of you, ye shall have her by your side as well soon.

Go fall in love, I am happy for you.

(:Sigh)Lets Blog
Its been sometime since i have blogged, it is usually hard for me to take an account of time that has transpired since then but i ll still try to make up for lost time.

Things that have changed between last time i "wrote" on this blog include my career (then a potential now a carcass), my interests (then a distinct possibility now a distant proposition) and my life (then what i made of it and now a ruin waiting for debris to capitulate).

Yeah i am sad but i aint feel bad about it anymore, infact there is this feeling that makes me a relieved man, no not because i have become masochist but because i know things just cant go
worse from this point.

Whiskey in Jar is one song i play very often when i am down and out and it is still playing as i write this blog. i am not burdened by what this song actually means nor am i in a mood to know.
But what i am burdened by is set of hard decisions i need to make this month, some of them i couldnt have even fathom few months back. I need to know what i want from this friggin life and how friggin hell i am going to get it ASAP.

Satire of the Dead
Seen as an obvious end, Death is not
infact last time i saw, corpse was still in motion
going from left to right of styx
sailing by the chasm of reason

Slime of skin is what they become
Hanging loose on morals
that they used to keep
Ones they stood by when it suited them most

Laughs she who is unscathed by this circus
catching moments that bring smiles to Devil
Dances to a tune that wakes up the undead
coz undead will revel

Movin on to NoWhere

Illusion reigns supreme
If You ask me who is there to help
I would not know for sure for I know
No one is there for me

Illusion reigns supreme
If you ask me what is there for you
I would not know for sure for I know
Nothing is there for me

I move on
to the light that doesnt exist
to the endless space

Absurdity is all around

Intruder

She stood besides me
or so i thought
If you look around things of past
they kept us busy till the late
artifacts i d say, things she d say

does it matter how much did i wait
I clutched on to them things or otherwise
as they remained my only belongings
then i emptied my closet only to see the last one
ah blood in my eyes it brings

it was a circle we had built
space that suited us to hilt
mocked she at me
as God would mock at thee

coz the circle had shifted
the intruder was in and i was out

Circa '99 

Aboard Zion 

Wandering Star
Those who have seen the needles eye, now tread
Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled
And the masks, that the monsters wear
To feed, upon their prey

Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved
The blackness of darkness forever

Nothing Else Matters!

never cared for what they say
never cared for games they play
never cared for what they do
never cared for what they know
and I know

I am NoWhere and I have nowhere else to go!

Let me not go into whether I knew this would happen or not because most of the times we know this is what is going to happen we just keep on hoping that inevitable doesnt happen at all.
It is kind of true for me as well just that I kept changing the degree how bad the inevitable might seem like or how bad I might take it :)

Lets come to what exactly this NoWhere is, I believe its a place that you neither aspired nor dreaded and for that matter its a place/set of conditions that you might have not taken into consideration in foresight but you regularly find yourself in, like I do now.

Problem with NoWhere is that you just let go of your aspirations for sometime till NoWhere leads into a horrific Trench: A Trench of Oblivion.

You Me and Coffee, all for 5 Bucks!

This is Ethan Hawke talking to Winona Ryder in Reality Bites taking pleasure of talking to someone you like to new heights. Been a fan of this genre for long now (almost all Indy movies seem to be based in small towns/suburbs, may be because brooklyn bridge is always booked for action/romance etc).

Spent some time at book searching, ended up at place which i believe almost out of place as far as Delhi is concerned, a Bookstore!! That too without the usually loud section on technology :)
Although that was exactly the kind of book we went searching.

PM Saab I just shrunk your scope!

Is Project Management an exact science? I think Post Manhattan/Operations Research Project managers dealt with a narrow aperture as far as scope was concerned and software development was more or less constrained by hardware (which dint "allow" larger scope to begin with). So it was quite easy for PMs (BTW in US PMs get lower salaries than Senior Coders, quite justifiably) to get away with formalised ways of getting things done.

However this is no longer true of today's scenario when almost every Biz IT alignment can be made possible in no time (alas there is nothing like "no time"), translating into a poser for PMs to make it happen.

And the scenario gets darker with SOx deciding to add clauses like these

As Chinese said, "May you live in interesting times"

Freebies huh??

IBM just donated some 500 IPs to the open source community, to find out why they did that unthinkable act makes up good ground for this nice line56 article.

Kab Banega yeh Raju Gentleman

I have been thinking about this one for sometime now, jus could not make myself write about it.
I think i have carried this unkempt look for too long and too far in my life. And it doesnt end here, in a way it also reflects my no-holds-barred-speak which has expletives at every nook and corner of conversational highway :)

I look around me, clean shaven genteel guys enchanting people (ofcourse i mean women here), nice mildmannered well to do men at their chivalrous best and then i look at myself. Delta is huge!

Also somewhere i forgot most people would prefer a silly "Hi! Aaj kitni thand hain naa, dhoop bhi nahin nikli" to "Hey did you watch Nat Geo last night?" I continued trying to strike coversation about what excites me trivia, politics, sports while Junta talked about newest store that opened recently

It doesnt stop here as well, i think if 80's were about machismo and this decade is all about sensitivity i can easily vouch for the fact that my USP is certainly outdated, rather misplace in the whole context.

And worse, more i try to do this convoluted mind job of being a nice guy messier it gets.


Hmm time for me to have weekly shave tomorrow before they draft me in infantry :)

Hindustan Leave(r) UnLimited

Been reading Gurcharan Das' India Unbound for quite some time now, may be speed at which i am going it might take another week to finish this piece of story-we-all-know.
I think i go terribly slow while reading non fiction (not to talk of textbooks) and this book is no exception.

It is full of nuances which we all have felt while growing up in this country and emotions which all have experienced but just could not articulate well enough to write a best seller :)
Nevertheless Das has been successful enough in wrapping sagas of frustration felt by a Harvard educated guy in middle class punjabi immigrant family in post independence decades with almost an esoteric and empirical thesis of rebuffing Nehruvian and later Mrs G's policies.

Although i havent reached the end of this book, I am sure he is going to find merits of post 91 developments and shall foretell a great future of this country, but what is still missing is perhaps a structural change in lives we lead in this country, and I am afraid i believe this is not going to change in near future as well.

Most of our old relatives recount stories of how difficult was it to get a Bajaj Scooter in 60's (due to ridiculous law which prohibited large companies to increase production). Well market forces have ensured this doesnt happen now, situation is far from rosy.
Take electricity for example, its been 2 years since Ambanis and Tatas have been operating distribution in NCR. We all hoped that this would bring efficiency in the system with their technical expertise and better management skills these two respected business houses shall be the best bet for electricity starved NCR. But what has actually changed is merely the interface. You can call the BSES Customer Care Center at any point of time but please dont take "customer care" and "center" for their literal sense.

Script goes like this

CC: BSES Rajdhani mein aapka swagat hain main CC aapki kya madad kar sakta hoon?
(my suggestion drop the accent!!)
Me:Ji yeh mere yahan pichle 5 ghanto se light (sic) nahin hain, kab tak aayegi?
CC: yeh kahan pe padhta hain?
(He is right, is actually a nondescript locality that u shall never find on delhi map more like those unknown islands which disappeared last sunday)
Me:Ji yeh vikas puri ke pass hain
CC:Okie, aapke yahan se koi complaint nahin hain
Me:(puzzled, looks like no other moron bothered enuf to call em up) To aap information to de dijiye ki kab aayegi light?
CC:Hamare pass koi info nahin hain, aap complaint likhwa dijiye
Me: Ji likhiye
CC: Apka complaint number 666 hain
Me: (Got the message)

Its a dead end, no CC has ever got back to me and I have never been able to extract any information about the power failure.

And all this despite we pay taxes and bills on time.

May be moving to countryside in Alabama is not a bad proposition :)

Strangled x

standing on aisle to well he spotted
a woman a child and a man
he waited for his turn to die
and get released from misery cycle HE ran

he was not to be seen not to be heard again
was not to be loved not to be hated as well
he bounced with joy at the spectre
and this made his heart swell

Hades' mansion was in sight
full of burning delight
with fires strumming his eyes
he could not but thank his might

strangled x was leaving for the kill
one he chose on his own
he shall tremble before, would have dreaded before
but now he could anything but moan

Ode to Devil

down the doom's alley
nether blooms the way
where styx must show you direction
and devil has a say

is it me or the fabric which got its plastic sheen off
singing its last ode to the jackal
or may be doodling to its tune
alas was stopped by a call

Stop u brooding soul
or whatever is left of you
its me who He decided
to prevent you from getting what is due

Says he you are a loser
lost your way down here
i said i was a no one's wayfarer
and could go nowhere!

I stood rooted to the ground that wasnt there
wanted to thank him well
as for nothing was I meant
as i trekked back to hell

Logging Out

Dunno if someone comes over here, jus to tell whomsoever happens to be on this page that I have decided to stall this blog.

Might start anew somewhere else but seems far from now

Amit

Consumerism in South and Kotler

Was never a big fan of baldy old hag, may be i dint like the book design (hate his guts for those anecdotes he keeps reciting again and again) its so sick sometimes to hear same stories all thru day abt how avis changed the rules of game vis a vis hertz , i mean why dont ppl try to attach subjectivity of the market dynamics and forget about drawing analytical conclusion coz there aint any :)

The whole funda abt creating innovating product is so serendipity driven that u jus cant make up numerics around it. Degree fades, metrics blur and only thing which is tru at ground zero is that "Jo dikhta hain woh bikta hai"

South Indian consumerism is the best example for the same.

Nilgiris, Subikshas, Food Worlds of Madras have shown the pundits that it is not brand but the ease and hygiene which sells in a middle class market.

Time to go for another round of biscuit gheri oops delivery

Welcome to the world of outsourced blogs :)

2B OR !2B

Okie Okie I finally gave in to your request Nilkhil, my Blog will showcase whateva little we have googled in last sem.

First thing first, topic which captured and is still is capturing our attention these days, fate of B2B websites, an issue which is so crucial to lot of us who aspire to for IT careers or whateva is left of it.

We have tried to come up with a repository largely made from Line56

Trivia abt Line56 - 56th line of Hamlet is
To Be or Not To Be

Getting back to our discussion, B2B is apparently on a upswing with infomediaries (B2Bs like Ad spot buying, eTailers for WalMarts, Equity Research Firms) are back in business but are not make same noise they made in 2000, and thank god for that, but do keep on watching this space for news :)

Coming back to B2B news, CMM has always been a touchy issue. I would recommend people to visit this place

Hmm but do check out latest vendor ratings at Gartner before u start slamming likes of Infy and TCS :)

Regards
Amit

Ps B2B (Blog 2 Business)

Deja Vu
For old times sake..

No Strings Attached

Music maketh a man
-Anon

Could'nt have agreed more with this aphorism, although I am sure there
are still some finishing touches left in my construction.
Havent really talked abt music for long no, jus downloaded Van Halen's Jump Video and last year brushed past me. I still remember those lovely afternoons i spent listening to this song on sat/sundays trying to dream about time i ll enjoy at a BSkool.

Magar yeh ho na saka
Magar yeh ho na saka
aur ab yeh aalam hain
ki tu nahin aur
teri justujoo bhi nahin

(Roughly translated i am f!@#$% up big time)

Chalo in any case i am in a pleasure zone right now with Nirvana's Unplugged playing in background with a orgasmic feeling abt second week in feb when our campus goes for placements, gotta be interesting or else :)

Cricket has been coming in large doses for some 3 months and i kinda sick of it now, Zims were never in picture and we are jus having a blateral series with Ozzies with a practice match thrown in between 2 matches :)) Btw i swear to the GOD that i ll make sure that i watch next venture to Ozzyland on a 29`` Box wheneva that happens !!

Amen to that and Eid Mubarak!

Amit

Raoul's Odyssey

Jus could not help posting this here.
Piece of work by Raoul, am sure i ll enjoy his works for years to come

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glossary to Greek Mythological Figures for the unInitiated :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Zeus: The king of gods (also called Soter and Chronos).
Hera: Zeus' consort and Queen of the gods.
Odysseus: Human who defied the gods. Hero of Homer's epic 'Odyssey'.
Phaedrus: A Greek philosopher (not a mythological figure)
Achelous: Greek river god.
Aeolos: Greek god of wind and air.
Moros: Greek god of Doom.
Typhoeus: A giant volcano-demon that hurled red-hot rocks at the sky and
boiled forth great storms of fire. Associated with typhoons.
Poseidon: Greek god of earthquakes and the sea.
Selene: Greek moon goddess and teacher to the magicians.
Ares: Greek war god of storms and hurricanes, also considered a father
of the gods.
Athena: Greek goddess of war and wisdom.
Hades: Greek god of death and keeper of the underworld.
Hermes: The messenger of the gods. It is his duty to guide the souls of
the dead down to the underworld.
Acheron: One of the five rivers that need to be crossed to gain entry to
the netherworld.
Mount Olympus: The abode of the gods. The myths are somewhat vague on
whether it is an actual mountain or a region of the heavens.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


God Shuffled his Feet

-Raoul P

"Who is it this time," thundered Zeus
The king of the Olympians in his abode atop Mount Olympus
"That dares challenge the might o' the Gods
Has man learnt not from the follies of Odysseus
That no foolish mortal can aspire to conquer the divine.

"Hercules had the strength of fifty men
And could fell a tree with his fist
But even he was powerless against the axe of Ares
What hope then has this puny Phaedrus
It is merely his impudence that brings him here."

"Careful there, my Lord," replied Hera
With a touch of reproach in her voice
"Judge not this man by his strength
For though he possess'th nor spear nor sword
He is far from unarmed.

"The weapon of reason bears he
With logic doth he battle his rival
You would do well not to take him lightly, my Lord
For his resolve is strong
And he is no stranger to adversity."

*****************
Through the mighty gates of Olympus ambled
The frail figure of Phaedrus
His back was a little hunched, his shoulders drooped
But his eyes gleamed with an intensity
That outshone a thousand stars.

Zeus greeted the bow solemnly
(For he had been warned)
"Say your piece, noble Scholar"
He asked of Phaedrus; "For I grant you this
That I may judge your plea."

"O mighty ruler of the skies!" Phaedrus began
"For aeons you have ruled over us
Bles't us with good fortune, protected us from ruin
And punished us with swift justice
When we so much as erred.

"For aeons we have loved you
And exalted you as our king
Built shrines in your honour, slay'd armies of men
And sacrificed our flesh and blood to appease your whims;
But now, we wish to be enslaved no more.

"For long we have revered you
Like a child doth his father
Ador'd you, and fear'd you
And prayed to you for comfort
But now, 'tis time to set your children free.

"Let your children be free
For they have grown out of your shadow
Let them choose their own paths
And design their own destinies
For they need not hold your hand anymore."

"Indeed, wise Phaedrus," smiled Zeus
"I had been told of your astuteness
And heard tales of your conquests
But it seems your repute belies your prowess
People merely ascribe your insolence to wisdom.

"Delusional child! Do you not see
That man is yet as feeble as he is fickle
'Tis true that he has grown in opulence
And his girth is as wide as his gait
But that is merely because the Gods favour him so.

"Count your blessings that Achelous and Aeolos
Bestow their fortunes upon you
And that Moros spares you from his doom
So that you may sip the blessed wine
From the cup of joy that brimmeth over."

Phaedrus stood as calm as ever
With a smile upon his lips, as if to mock Zeus
"It is not I who is delusional, Revered Father!
Indeed 'tis true that the Gods serve us well
But that is only for we give them no choice.

"For Achelous and Aeolos have long been caged
And serve us now like galley slaves
Moros is but a distant memory
With no more than a scar to remind us of him.
Merely a bad dream that we rubbed off our eyes.

"Bless us, indeed!
It is not the Gods that bestow fortunes upon us
But we who bequeath them their powers
Revere them, venerate them
Appease them to satisfy our own whims and fancies."

"Enough of this blasphemy!" cried Zeus, not amused anymore
"Do you think you can tame too the might of Typhoeus
Who spews spears of fire and arrows of sleet?
Is your sword keener than his bite
Or has your hide indeed grown so thick?

"Tell me, knave scholar!
Can you face the wrath of Poseidon
Whose tempestuous moods barely reveal
Dark secrets concealed in his breast
The merest depths of which you cannot fathom

"For all your new found wisdom
Can you betray yet the guile of Ares
Or withstand the valour of Athena
Who for aeons have glut on your avarice
And torment forever your misguided souls."

Phaedrus stood still his ground, unfazed by the diatribe
"Ares and Athena we fear not, for they are foes no more
But have joined the ardent armies of men
They maim now, but on our command
The scars of Selene stand testimony to our alliance

"We fear not either the spew of Typhoeus
It is but a cinder compared to our breath
The almighty Poseidon too lies wounded at our feet
With a dagger through his breast
His darkness not such a secret anymore

"Even your majestic thunderbolt, Great King
Has lost its brilliance of yore
For it strikes not awe in the hearts of men anymore
Wise Soter! I beseech you to relinquish your throne
Ere your crown itself is trampled to dust!"

Zeus was indignant now
As he flew into a fit of rage
The ground shook beneath his feet
His hair wreathed in fire
But in his heart, he knew he was losing the battle

The puny Phaedrus was proving to be
A worthier opponent than he had reckoned
But the king of Gods would not give in so easily
He had still one last card up his sleeve
One last trick; his final and most potent weapon

"It would seem", said He
That I have underestimated the might of man
Indeed he has grown strong; enough to rule the Earth
But is he shrewd enough
To cheat yet the scythe of Death?

"Presumptuous fool!
Can you not see that man is yet fallible
His spirit may have gained in strength
His mind soared past the skies
But his body is still mortal as the leaf of Fall

"For as long as Hades rules over the netherworld
Before him must you bow your head
And rest at the mercy of Hermes
To take you across the mournful Acheron
Whence all are welcome, but none may return."

For once Phaedrus was silent
As he stood there lost in thought
A hint of a smile escaped the lips of Zeus
He knew it was all over
The battle for Olympus had finally been won.

But then he caught the look in Phaedrus' eye
And the smile vanished from his lips
This was not the look of defeat he expected
If anything, those eyes shone brighter than ever
With a shudder, Zeus realized what they purposed.

*****************
As he stood there deep in thought
Phaedrus knew what must be done
Zeus had shown him the way
And it wouldn't be long ere he would be back
The battle may be over, but the war was far from won.

As Phaedrus turned to leave
He bowed courteously to the Gods
His head still high in pride
But sitting uneasily on his high throne of power
Zeus, the king of the Gods, shuffled his feet.


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
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My remarks : Awesome , may be i should start greek mythology again :)

Cold calling God

Thats exactly what i feel like doing tonight, dint have a worse day for sometime.
Had to cancel a get together with Preeti and others, they were looking forward to that and i let them down at the last moment jus becasue i had a "Presentation" to prepare alongwith other "team members"
I am yet to come across a project where everyone has tried his/her best, one invariably finds fu!@ing freeloaders who jus because they are close friends jus dont work coz they have "other" plans.

The whole team work thing sux big time, i know its naive to think otherwise if u r in FMS but then i came from an organization where people actually worked as a team.I think its more to do with North Indian mentality of watching out for "what exactly is there for me in this thing".

Are there any lessons for me to be learnt? U bet. Never ever think about giving more than what is required from u (safe assumption is Total Work/ N (PERCENTAGE COMMITMENT) where 'N' is the total number of project partners).

And never ever cancel your school get together.

Amit

Jus changed the template, will try to add Zonkboard today.

Amit

Minor Glitches
Exams came and went, jus dunno how am i going to fare coz they all looked same to me.
Puking was the central theme here, with ,my gastric juices working overtime.
well never mind these exams, i have already given them hazaar times and they serve no purpose as i see them! Life has been subjected to lotta constraints these days, i foiund lesser and lesser time to even read newspapers. Well there is lot that i missed it seems, Delhi is capturing mindshare (and printshare) for all types of reasons, good and bad.Presidential guards decided to empty their libido tanks in one of the most notorious of parks in Delhi (i still remember how we used to burst into giggles when some used to tell us about Buddha Gardens) Issue here is not to look this as an incident which prompted Prez to order the whole battalion to godforsaken place after these guys were caught but into a deeper understanding of indian psyche.We seem to have no contempt of ourselves, freely spitting, hurling choicest of gaalis and heckling others on road seem to have become our second nature. Do we blame this on our climate (some bast!@#$ psychoanalysts have balls to link this to tropical nature of our geography)? Or the genes? Have been reading couple of books these days, Heat and Dust talks about an ICS officer trying to pursuade his wife to go to Shimla during summer since it might get to her, and it gets to her finally when she elopes with the local Nawab. Summer theory might sound realistic but it does not gravitate into a possible reason for our attitude towards urban life, we still feel we live in rural hinterland where only law is no law. Cant help being a pessimestic here :)

Amit

Great to be back
Its been a month since i last edited my blog, lot of things have happened both for good and otherwise. But i wont blog bitter things today thats for sure.
Summerz happened and whats even better is that i got a decent bargain (am not too sure if i shud spell the company's name here)
Met her last weekend after a long time, jus hope that we are able to keep up with this maddening schedule. A lot many submissions happened, midsems came and went with results which pointed that i will not be able to make any forays into 70's :(

Days go by

Last time I saw this video, i was in comforts of a cushy job, relaxing my way through endless fridays and beer pints watching television day in and day out
Now i dont have a job (BSkool is not exactly a job u see) and its going to be long 20 months before i get back to corporate life (2 month summers will be over soon). Life is thus a random function of factors like submissions, mid terms, GLs, looking forward to meet her, quizzes and emptiness (i dunno of what :( )

Submissions

If there is something called chaos, its my life
If there is someone called confused, its me

New to this and new to that

Its been a week , but for all practical reasons sounds more like a month
Somethings were not important but then who am i to decide their
dispensibility, they came my way and i tried :)
Went to her new dwelling yesterday, was kinda suprised that girls too
can be clumsy just as we are
next week inshallah we ll go to BCL but then again such is our state
of affairs nuthin is decided till it really happens

Amit

Jus dont want to talk to anyone today
Am lil pissed off and lil surprised at people
Wonder if i am overreacting but since this does
not fall into any one of those "glam" behaviours
be it "feminist","snooty","indifferent" no one will
even try to understand whats the f!@#$ing problem!

Amit

Politicking

Came across some comments on state (or rather lack of it)
of Politics which seems to have taken couple of turns too wrong
for last 50 years.
I have conjured up some points in favor of these politicians, rather
these are in favor of system we seem to have developed for last
5 decades. In my opinion we should understand that we have
been ruled by monarchy (either by proxy or otherwise) for time
immemorial, thus mai baap is in encoded on our genetic
maps, we simply cannot do away with comparing a PM with a Rajah
simply because we always want ourselves to be ruled rather
than being governed.
Also at no point of time have we been able to come up with a mass
campaign against the incumbents (spare emergency for political reasons)
We should have rooted out Narasimha Rao Govt when Babri Masjid was
demolished not because it was a muslim structure but because it was
an act of anarchy and setting a bad precedent.
We should have rooted out Vajpayee govt when Mista Jaswant Singh
accompanied Taliban ministers in Kandhar in an act of national shame.
We should have rooted out Mayawati/kalyan combine when they came up
with ridiculous formula of power sharing in UP.
We should root out the government or atleast sack Railways Minister
whenever a train derails.
We should sack Human Welfare Minister whenever a dowry death happens.
Same should be true for defence minister wheneva a MIG crashes.
Are we capable of doing this, I am afrad not.
So please stop cribbing about Politicians and get some balls first!

Amit

Van Halen
Jump and Right Now Rocks!

Last Weekend in Bangalore

Havent finished City of Djinns but i am quite sure
Monday will see Age of Kali unless something
drastic happens.I lost my wallet (again?), Papa was mad
but then again it is supposed to be that way aint it?
I mean wierd is when he is not mad at me :)
Its overcast here for last 3 4 days now, its that smell of
Rains and mud which is so refreshing to us Indians.
May be thats why we urbanites look forward to Monsoon.
Have a party tonight with Hari and ilk, Gupats will be
taken care on Sunday, JJ should have been here :(

Yahoo Groups for MPAE started on a new lease of life - Guha's ouster
Guha - if there was a unifying factor in our class, it was Guha
We all agreed in disagreeing with him.
May be its last time we heard from him, dont know whether
its for good.
Raoul has been pestering me with his silly requests, dont know if he
is really actng funny or this is his true self :))
He gave me H2GTG and LOTR BBC radio transcripts in a CD, me
thinks they are awesome!

Amit

Bill's Book

While everyone is talking about new found virtues of forgiveness
in former First Lady for her Husband's failings, one thing i noticed
was the fact that Hillary more than Bill needs this publicity involving
the book (which is very imaginatively called Living History) She
might be thinking about 2008 elections with Dubya doingeverything
wrong and Republicans clueless about what to do about it, No one
can win an election on troubled marriage however stinking it might
have become especially when you are on verge of becoming president
of most powerful country.I personally think Presidential Elections and
Oscars are won in media, Gallups will trace the last voter and ask
her/his choice to boot.Anyways i was always disgusted with it and
with reaction in third world which seems to see it as common sex
scandals (Brits seem to have perfected that art especially those
gay ministers) and not even acknowledge the fact that things are
awry in global political circles let alone US.Contrary to Hillary's writing
prowess William Dalrymple's ability is much admired by yours truly,
picked up City of Djinns which is quite extraordicary thing to do by me
since I am a self confessed Delhi hater for long now.Have jus gobbled up
50 pages, Punjabis have been likened to uncouth farmers and Sikhs have
pardoned "congressmen" for 1984.This might get finished by tomorrow,
will start on Age of Kali by same author.Havent received her mail for 2 days,
wonder this is a start of next phase of our relationship Sarita called, delhi's
Baap of all get together might happen after all :)

Amit

Up the Down Ladder

Ady referred to one GD session he had when he was
giving IIMC interviewin 2k+1, i can relate to that particular
sentiment now that i am lil nervous about coming months.
I am upbeat about MBA, but am apprehensive about what
kinda job i ll be doing.Looking forward to be with my Parents
but am sad about losing my independence (however filthy
my flat was! ).Delhi means great food but Bangalore was fun all
the way. FMS and DU was places where you ll find tremendous
people but InfyCity ROX period!
No Updates but No Bossing around as well.No KTs to do but
then i ll miss out on impressing trainee chicks :(
No puffed eyes due to late nights , but no late nights
No Monday Ties but no looking forward to Friday
No filling up of DART but no high speed internet access (FMS
duh)
No dumb sales guy calling up my number for credit cards
but no free credit card offers for lifetime as well.
No "thinking about what to do on weekends" but then no weekends
as well

Its a tough life.
Like ELDoc said in morning "Amit u ll have swell time"
I will, sure i will!

Amit

Reasons Y i hate leaving this place! Continued

Zion (blrkec15702, yeah thats my mean Machine in Matrix called InfyLan (20k+ Machines))
Coffee Dispensing Machine
Arguments with Friends on where this Org is heading to
Arguments with Friends on where I am heading to
Evening snacks at Lotus Food Court
ATM at ICICI and sweet girl who sits in the Bank
Bangalore FM (is so much better than shit Delhi FM airs)
Shop in 9th Block where AuntyJi gives absolutely delicious Sabudana Khichdi (Pune again :(( )
Unlimited PrintOuts I can take anytime
My WhiteBoard
Greek Family Chart at my Desk
Chaos at my Desk
Project Update Meetings (specially when i can ask people questions)
Not filling DART (dont ask me what , wont tell anyway)
KEC InToon (Dilbert/Garfield/Archie all of em)
Food World Offers (Best Ones :buy one tropicana and get another one free)
Unlimited Pints We have at Purple Haze
Girls who will sheepishly stand outside Urban Edge/The Hypnos/Insomnia/IBar
Domlur Junction waala TGIF
Trip to Airport (with a resolve that I ll be back !)


Amit

10 9 8 7 ....

Yup it has started ,one more weekend to go before i hit the homestretch
am listenin to Van Halen and Dave Matthews Band, trying to make myself
work for this meeting tomorrow and trying not to get upset about money issues

Will try to take Sahara PickUp bus on 27th :)